I knew today's tennis was doomed when I discovered shock horror ... "What do you mean I don't have any clean White tennis socks?!... " I know we didn't have electricity for almost a week but really??? REALLY? The best option I had were a sad looking orange pair. So I dressed accordingly in my cute White and orange adidas ensemble, since we all know that looking the part is half the battle. Right?
The moment I walked on court my socks became a laughing stock. Yet I made them work to my advantage.. They were quite a distraction on the court and I will take any help I can get. My serve was a bit "off" today - not that it seems to be "on" lately. Playing doubles is certainly not my forte, and this morning my entire game had gone a bit awry. So under the circumstances my dreaded lobb played a somewhat prominent role - that frustrating shot certainly wore down my opponents' psyche. There were some swear words and looks of damned frustration. I was putting so much topspin on them and they were hitting the baseline then pinging up so high they were next to impossible to return. Sorry ladies I know it was brutal...
I play with a lovely group of ladies, the majority of whom are English, very polite players and have a fab dry sense of humour. "Lovely serve" ... "superb return" ... "well that was because of your smashing serve" ... "divine volley" ... "that was simply too perfect a shot to return!" ... "cracking volley"... One of them, the lovely V coined the title phrase of this post - I mean if you were playing tennis in a vicarage you would think twice about using audible profanity wouldn't you?
I don't know if it was the socks which triggered it, but I had a most desperate fit of the giggles on court. Anything set me off - poor Boneface, the ball boy is just hopeless at keeping the score and seems to just say the first thing which comes into his head: 40-love he pipes up... What?! I say it is 15 all! Oh yes he laughs... Then I was off again. Then my partner is standing on my half of the court whilst I am serving?! Hello M... I'm serving... Oh sorry I thought I was receiving ... !@*&!
During a water break L said that her son was at the club today, and I asked if he was at the ongoing kids sports holiday camp (they were playing some organised game next to the courts, all running around in their floppy cotton sunhats having fun) or just hanging out? No she said he is back from Edinburgh University for the hols! Well I had just taken a huge gulp of water which I proceeded to spray all over the court and it came down my nose which was horrid. OMG I was off again... Guess I won't be invited to any games at the Vicarage. Thank you ladies :) I look forward to next week's fix...
Promise to be on my best behaviour in Sundays's mixed doubles tournament at The Muthaiga Club!
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